wass goin on

I finally have some time to sit down and jot out some thoughts. I know a ton of you have called me, and I'm sorry for not picking up the phone. 1) you know I hate the phone and 2) I've been getting my shit in order.

no more psycho girlfriend. That ended early january, after my four failed attempts to break up since oct. Long story short...she's not who she says she is. It was a good 5 months, but in thinking back on that now, the first five months were bs. Essentially, I've had 10 months of my life wasted for nothing. I blame myself...I'm generally a sucker when it comes to women, and tend not to see that I'm being used until its too late. I'm much happier now, and no longer taking 'gf pills'. Therapy is still a weekly thing, and it's been better than ever. I can say that I am completely done dating anyone in the modeling/photography community, and definitely not anyone who is a sex worker or prostitute. It's too much, and I'm getting back to the old Stu days, where I was happy go lucky.

Working out at the gym has been a godsend as well, and I'm finally seeing results. At least in my arms, lol. I still need to put on 10 lbs though.

For the time being, except for a few projects (mostly product photography), I am still uninterested in taking pictures, especially of models. Yep, Im a bit bitter, but that too will pass. I am planning a trip later this year on a liveaboard to costa rica, and that should yield some amazing images. Have my suite already for Fetcon, etc etc. It will all come back.

I wound up not going to Detroit for the Dirty Show, even though I had a large piece displayed there. I find it super amusing that my buddy the famous lawyer was there opening night Friday. I wish I had gone, just for that. I'd have welcomed that drink and ping pong match. I am more upset I did not get the chance to see my crew, although I had talked at length with most of them. Funny how 'knowledgeable' they all are about certain people out that way. I had no idea how common certain details are. I guess there really are no secrets in life. I'll be there in spring anyway, which should be better for us all.

Karma comes around. It always does. Watch and wait.

I have started dating, and it's been a real hoot. Dating normal women, hahah. I've never really 'dated' before, so this is quite the new experience. It has been fun going out to dinner, concerts and just 'doing stuff' again. All part of the continued health. and it feels great. My true friends have been great too. I am blessed to have so many REAL heartfelt friends, all over the country. Many are coming to visit in the next few months too, which should prove to be crazy fun.

work wise, things are in the right direction. New ventures on tap are looking promising, and I am likely to get back to the product line of light modifiers I was working on last year. I do believe that I can design something better than what is available on the market now.

I've decided to stay in NY for another year.

Lastly.....and more on point....I have been published a third time in Carrie Leigh's NUDE magazine, her winter edition, which should either be in stores now, or very very soon. I'm also heading out to LA in March to see them to continue discussions for future projects. I am looking forward to meeting the 'first lady of playboy'. check it out - www.carrieleigh.com .

In closing, I want to thank everyone again for the calls and emails. You guys are great, and I will start blogging more regularly again, now that the black cloud has been lifted.

Best
Stu